..Tulisan dan kehidupan..

Menulis itu sukar. Sesukar memetik jari. Ya, memetik jari itu bukan sesuatu yang mudah kerana tidak semua orang yang memetik jari akan menghasilkan bunyi.

Aku tak pernah termimpi untuk menulis. Malah, memulakan blog ini hanya dengan niat suka-suka. Tapi bila hati berkata-kata, jari  mula mahu menari-nari menaip baris-baris ayat untuk kepuasan diri. Tak sangka ada juga yang sudi membaca. Kerana pada aku, apa yang aku coretkan hanya pengalaman yang aku lalui, emosi yang aku rasai, keadaan yang aku perhati. Mungkin juga berbunyi teguran atau sindiran. Well, itu juga emosi.

Sedar tak sedar, aku dah menulis lebih daripada 200 entri di 3 blog berbeza mengikut kematangan. Untuk membuka buku yang baru, aku tutup buku yang lama. Maka inilah buku aku yang terbaru.

Bakal bergelar seorang ibu dalam 211 hari lagi, aku teruja dan bersyukur akan kurniaan ALLAH kepadaku. Setelah melalui turun naik kehidupan sebagai kanak-kanak dan remaja, kini aku boleh berbangga untuk menjadi seorang dewasa yang hampir lengkap hidupnya. Kehadiran lelaki yang mencintai aku seadanya membuatkan aku dapat menghayati nilai kehidupan sebenar. Alhamdulillah, sesungguhnya aku amat bersyukur.

Turun naik kehidupan sekeliling aku juga membuatkan aku tersenyum. Ya, ramai rakan-rakanku yang sudah mampu tersenyum kini walaupun aku mungkin tak tahu kesusahan apa yang telah mereka lalui dulu. Mungkin ada segelintir yang masih kelat senyumannya, tapi tetap terus tabah melalui kehidupan seperti aku suatu masa dulu. Bersyukurlah kalian, teruslah bersyukur kerana rezeki ALLAH itu ada dimana-mana.

Sebelum memejam mata malam ini, aku mahu semua orang di sekeliling aku tahu yang aku amat bersyukur dengan kehadiran kalian. Aku sayang semua. Ya, semua. Terima kasih kerana masih mewarnai kisah kehidupan aku. :)

..8 weeks..

Alhamdulillah..my baby is 8 weeks already..

Never know that the morning sickness feelings are as bad as this. It's hard to even wake up from bed. My head is always spinning around, and I always throw whatever I ate no matter when and what. Everything I eat and do seems to be wrong for my body. Now I have the experience. Now I know how hard is the pregnancy times. Now I know how much we should appreciate our mothers.

To my mom, thanks for being so patient and strong to go through this for us. I really appreciate this. We love you!

To my roommate who is getting engaged this Sunday, congratulations and good luck. I am so very happy for you. And I know you will be the happiest person in the world on that day. You deserve this happiness baby. After all the tears, this is the time for you to smile. Take care. Much love! :)

..It's the moment we've awaited..

Alhamdulillah..

As per today, my baby is 6 weeks and 5 days old.. We are excited, and nervous in the same time.. And it's quite early to share my preggy moments since my baby is still small. I couldn't even see any changes to my stomach yet. According to the doctor, my baby's brain is growing fast within this week.

Lots of things I need to do and know and learn and take care of in the same time. Quite puzzled me a bit, but seems like I can cope with almost everything now. Alhamdulillah.. I got this very first chance to have a baby by myself earlier than I ever thought.

Wanna know my pregnancy signs? It's not really normal like everyone seems to have. Well, doctor said, different people have different signs. In the first place I think that I am pregnant because I keep having fever. And I ate twice as much as per normal. So we bought the home pregnancy test kit to check and the result is negative.

So, we continue our life as it is. After 10 days my period is still not coming, and I started to vomit whenever I feel hungry which is not really normal because I can stay without food for about 1 whole day, we've decided to go to the clinic. And yup, that's when I know I am pregnant. After answering all the doctor's questions, I figure out my pregnancy sign.

1. Continuously hungry, and will vomit if I don't eat.
2. Body's temperature is not stable, keeps on changing.
3. Headache all the time.
4. Period is late.
5. Mood swings.

Not normal, is it? Haha. I know. Alhamdulillah, again I feel so grateful as I don't have much difficulties. And I am so very glad to be the chosen one to carry a life inside my womb. Alhamdulillah.. :)

..Kesyukuran ini tiada taranya..

Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah..

Walaupun dilanda dugaan saat ini, namun aku tetap bersyukur.. kerana mereka yang menyusahkan aku ini tidak akan sedikit pun menghilangkan kesenangan yang diberikan oleh ALLAH kepadaku.. Terima kasih kepada mereka.. Kerana kesyukuran ini tiada taranya.. insyaALLAH..

Kau melihat diriku seperti sesuatu yang mencabar dirimu, akal dan mindamu..

Kau mendustaiku..

Kau bilang mereka tak tahu siapa diriku, sedangkan kau juga begitu..

Segala kata cacian yang telah engkau berikan, membuatku rasa kosong..

Kosong..

Setiap tutur diperhatikan, kau cari cara putarbelitkan..

Kau membuat diriku kosong..

Kosong..

Kini aku bangkit..

Membuktikan yang ku tak sakit..

Dengan segala pedih yang kau berikan..

Kini aku pantas berjalan..

Bergerak ke hadapan..

Dan akan ku buktikan siapa diriku yang sebenar..

..Sedang apa dan dimana?..

Dulu selalu ada waktu untuk kita

Kini ku sendiri..

Dulu kata cinta tak habis tercipta

Kini tiada lagi..

Sedang apa dan dimana dirimu yang dulu ku cinta?

Ku tak tahu, tak lagi tahu seperti waktu dulu

Apakah mungkin bila kini ku ingin kembali?

Menjalani janji hati kita..

:(

..Selamat ulang tahun, sayang..

Yang tulus, ikhlas, ingin sekali-sekala dirinya dibalas..

Walau hanya dengan dakapan di angin lalu..

Yang selalu memberi ingin sekali-sekala jadi penerima..

Cukup dengan salam dan manis doa..

Aku ingin kau merasakan hebatnya cinta..

Dan leburkan saja serpihan calar derita..

Aku hanya inginkan engkau setia..

Kerana setia yang mencipta bahagiamu..

Selamat ulang tahun, sayang..

Kini kau bersayap pergilah terbang..

Rentaslah langit cita-citamu..

Harap nanti kita kan bertemu..

Selamat ulang tahun, sayang..

Janganlah engkau tak terbang pulang..

Ku nanti penuh kerinduan..

Selamat tinggal, selamat jalan..

..Kisah cinta kami..

Alhamdulillah..

Selamat bergelar puan isteri kepada encik suami tercinta. Seminggu, banyak perubahan yang dapat dirasakan.Alhamdulillah, hidup lebih teratur dan berharap akan menjadi lebih teratur.

Tak pernah menyangka, perkenalan yang sangat singkat membawa kami ke jinjang pelamin. Kalau diingatkan, dia adalah orang yang paling dirasakan annoying pada masa itu. Annoying, and I mean it. Haha! But, I do seriously don't know how can I agree to go out with him few months after that. Amazingly, I also said yes to marry him! That is, I think, called the power of love.

Ya, saya memang pernah kecewa. Even by the time I met him for the first time, I was in the middle to recover my heart from that sadness. All the time I was praying, "Ya ALLAH, tutuplah pintu hatiku daripada menerima sesiapapun, dan bukalah hanya apabila KAU katakan bahawa dialah jodohku". Setelah ini, saya terfikir, mungkin inilah kuasa doa. Saya dah pun temui jawapan kepada doa saya. Terima kasih, ALLAH. Terima kasih atas kurniaan yang tidak terhingga ini. Alhamdulillah, kini saya mampu tersenyum.. :)

Kepada cinta hati saya, one and only husband, dearest Mohd Hafiz Ismail,
Terima kasih untuk cinta ini. Terima kasih kerana menerima diri I seadanya. Terima kasih untuk semua doa dan nasihat u sepanjang masa ini. Semoga kita sentiasa bersatu hati melalui segalanya bersama. Terima kasih, cintaku. Terima kasih, imamku. Terima kasih, sahabatku. Terima kasih, penghujung cintaku. Terima kasih, suamiku. :)

Berakhir sudah pencarian cintaku

Jiwa ini tak lagi sepi

Hati ini telah ada yang miliki

Tiba diriku dipenghujung mencari cinta

Diri ini tak lagi sepi

Kini, aku tak sendiri

Aku akan menikahimu

Aku akan menjagamu

Ku kan selalu disisimu seumur hidupmu

Aku akan menyayangimu

Ku kan setia kepadamu

Ku kan selalu disisimu seumur hidupmu..

..Kita adalah satu..

Kawan,

Kita berkenalan bukan paksaan..

Tak pernah sekali timbul sesalan..

Bukan juga sebuah rancangan..

Oh, mungkin ianya rahmat Tuhan..

Pantas masa terus berjalan..

Kau dan aku menjadi kita..

Sesekali tertiup angin dugaan..

Namun kita tetap sabar menempuhnya..

Teman,

Aku bersyukur akan kehadiranmu..

Tak mungkin ku mampu harungi sendirian..

Benar, kesempurnaan tak pernah wujud dalam hidupku..

Tetapi ia lengkap dengan adanya kamu..

Sahabat,

Aku bukan orang yang hebat..

Bahkan tidak selalu membahagiakan..

Eh, lihat! Hati kita masih terikat..

Dalam satu talian persahabatan..

Kalian,

Tak mungkin bisa ku balas semuanya..

Susah dan senang tetap bersatu..

Namun hati yakin akan kuasa-Nya..

Bahawa kebaikan sentiasa mengiringimu..

Doaku..

Agar persahabatan ini terus lanjut..
Kerana kita adalah satu...

p/s: this post is dedicated to you, my dearest friend..We've gone through the stage of life together.. may the bless of ALLAH will always be with you.. xoxo!

..Terukir Di Bintang..

Jika engkau minta intan permata, tak mungkin ku mampu..

Tapi sayang, kan ku capai bintang dari langit untukmu..

Jika engkau minta satu dunia, akan aku cuba..

Ku hanya mampu jadi milikmu, pastikan kau bahagia..

Hati ini bukan milikku lagi..

Seribu tahun pun akan ku nantikan kamu..

Sayangku, jangan kau persoalkan siapa di hatiku..

Terukir di bintang, tak mungkin hilang cintaku padamu..

Dear my future husband, Mohd Hafiz bin Ismail..

This post is coming exactly deep from my heart. While listening to this song, I am actually imagining how our wedding will be, and how my life will change with you. It is a big decision when I said 'Yes' to marry you. It is actually hard to make. I keep on wondering whether you are really serious or not..

There are another 29 days left before I become your wife. I do, feel very grateful to have your love with me. I know, you can be such a great husband for me and great father to our children. I always know, you can take a good care of me and our family. I always believe, you will work hard for us. I am always here, to support you, and to love you deeply..

Our relationship has grown in 1 year, 2 months, and 3 days. And it will grow from time to time. We have gone through lots of things within this period of time. I am glad to know that our hands are still tightly held to walk along this journey. And I always pray that our hands will still be held tightly forever..

I admit I was afraid to fall in love when I met you. I have failed. I built a wall to guard my heart. I close the door and locked it. But it seems like you got the strongest power to open it back. Seeing your eyes made me believe that you are the answer for my prayer. Alhamdulillah, it seems like you really are..

Yayang, I always want you to know that I thank ALLAH everyday for sending you to save my heart..much love to you, my future husband.. :)

Sayangku, jangan kau persoalkan siapa di hatiku..

Terukir di bintang, tak mungkin hilang cintaku padamu..

..Wedding ceremony..

Until now, I am still thinking, whether to write it in english or bahasa.. =_='

Special sikit lah. Kali ni nak tulis dalam bahasa ibunda yang indah. Majlis perkahwinan. Ada siapa-siapa yang tak sabar nak kahwin dah? Wah! Silalah berfikir 400 kali sebelum membuat keputusan ye.. Bukan apa, nak kahwin itu bukan sesuatu yang mudah.. Sesekali kena bertanya pada diri sendiri, mampukah anda menjaga rumahtangga anda supaya sentiasa harmoni dan kekal sepanjang masa? Haa.. Kan dah tergamam..

Tapi tak apa.. Keinginan untuk mendirikan rumahtangga itu seharusnya ada dalam diri setiap orang kan.. Kalau tak, macammana nak jadi umat Rasulullah.. Tak gitu? Bagi mereka-mereka yang bakal-bakal mendirikan rumahtangga, ada beberapa tips yang ingin saya kongsikan di sini.. Jom tengok!

Wedding checklist

1. Barang hantaran - buat keputusan awal-awal dan belilah sikit-sikit. Kalau tak nanti mesti rasa terbeban.
2. Borang kebenaran berkahwin - sila pergi ke jabatan agama negeri masing-masing untuk tahu dokumen yang mereka perlukan. Jangan nanti kena pergi 2 3 kali ke sana untuk dapatkan kebenaran berkahwin.
3. Imam jurunikah - kena book awal-awal tau. Mereka ini sibuk mengalahkan PM. Seriously!
4. Baju nikah - sila tempah 2 hingga 3 bulan sebelum majlis. Kalau ada yang tak kena nanti, taklah kelam kabut si tukang jahit itu. Lagipun kalau tempah sebulan sebelum nikah, biasanya kena reject oleh si tukang jahit.
5. Konsep majlis - fikir dan bincang siap-siap. Baru senang nak fikir idea dan gambaran majlis dan bajetnya. Hehe..
6. Kad kahwin - sila dapatkan pakej yang termurah. Survey lah awal-awal supaya tak menyesal dan kelam-kabut.
7. Katering - biasanya akan ada yang provide sekali dengan khemah dan sebagainya. Ada jugak yang ada pakej sekali dengan dewan bagai. Pilihlah yang terbaik dan harga yang bersesuaian. Yang ni pun kalau boleh tempahlah awal.
8. Pelamin, baju sanding, make-up - ni untuk mereka yang nak bersanding. Biasanya mereka akan tanya bajet kita, Maksudnya lagi mahal bajet, lagi meriahlah baju dan pelamin kita tu nanti.
9. Door gift- untuk budak-budak, mudahnya bagi gula-gula lah. Untuk orang dewasa, terpulang pada taste dan bajet sendiri.
10. PA System dan DJ - biasanya ada dalam internet. Google lah. Haha! Kalau ada kawan-kawan yang sediakan pakej ni, lagi bagus. Lagi tak perlu pening kepala.
11. Senarai jemputan - sila buat! Supaya tiada masalah kehabisan kad, kehabisan makanan, dan heart feeling. =P
12. Bilik tidur pengantin - silalah hias untuk kegunaan masa majlis (tangkap gambar) dan hari-hari seterusnya. Hek!
13. Photographer / videographer - carilah pakej yang paling berbaloi dengan testimoni yang paling cantik. Jangan salah pilih. Nanti malu nak tunjuk kat orang gambar kahwin. Hehe..
14. Kompang - biasanya kat kampung ada persatuan. Bagi yang duduk bandar, cari budak-budak universiti pun senang. Tak pun, pakai CD je.. =P
15. Kek Kahwin - kadang-kadang ada pakej katering yang sediakan sekali. Kadang-kadang takde. So, kene bersiap-sedia okay..

Haa.. tulah antara persediaan yang perlu dibuat. Sebenarnya, buat entri ni untuk mengingatkan diri sendiri jugak. Mana tahu ada yang terkurang. Naya je majlis tak jadi nanti.. Huhu.. Tunggu next tips di entri seterusnya ya! :)

..Love story of a kid..

I sometimes do love to fill my free time with reading kid's love story.. They are just 22 years old, 21, and might be younger.. For now, I keep saying that learn to live your life first before you wanna grab someone else into it. But it's a perfect experiences though. Life experiences. To be loved and to be hurt and then to be loved by someone who really loves you..

I once fell in love when I was young. Okay, it might be a lie since it might not be just once. But yeah, I've felt that kind of feeling. Feeling of always wanna be together, always wanna hear from each other, always wanna tell everything to each other, all the jealousy inside, arguments.. Lots of it and most of everything.. Then we felt that the relationship cannot last long, made decisions to end up the relationship and live the world alone again.. Then someone find us being single and accept us as who we are and finally, boom! The relationship ends with a new family formed..

It's not wrong to have that feeling. I always knew that there's always a reason behind everything. When I read those kid's love story, I always smile to myself and said "when the time is right, you will find someone right for you".. :)

p/s: to my lovely friend, I can guess that something is wrong with your relationship with the one you loved before and now you are trying to build a new relationship with someone new. Be patient, darling. Sometimes we never realized that the person who always been made for you is just right in front of your eyes. Believe what your heart says, because sometimes it's totally right. May ALLAH always be with you and gives you strength to get you through everything. Remember, I always be here if you need a shoulder to cry on. Miss you, babe.. ;)

..Nice world..

I am writing this while enjoying my breakfast in the office.. and yes, I can only do this when my manager is on leave (hehe..I love you Teresa.. ;p).. and also yes, I know it's quite a long time since I wrote something in here..

I know I had a nice world when I can come to work with a smile and having no stress, got a time to have breakfast and write something or maybe read something, and continue to work without anyone says anything.. I know I had a nice world when I can have a ladies night out after work with my colleagues or a date with my fiance without thinking of anything.. I know I had a nice world when I can call my mom whenever I want and tell her everything that happened and laughing with her and listen to her version of story..

There are certain times when I forgot that this world is actually very nice.. full of it's own stories.. unique and beautiful stories.. Yup, there's always a sunshine beyond rain.. always a good time beyond pain.. It's just depends on how we appreciate this world.. our world.. others' world..

2012 is nearly coming.. very near.. I am ready to face anything in front.. being tough is tough, but everything that has passed in this year always made me stronger and stronger.. made me knew myself well.. I am 23.. and will be 24.. and I guess I will be matured enough to create a beautiful world of mine..

2012.. I will be a 24 years old lady.. will be leaving old bitter stories of mine.. will carry forward sweet memories of 23 years of life.. will be having new family.. will be a good wife to someone I love, a good daughter to my parent and in-law, a good sister to my beautiful and handsome brothers and sisters, and a good friends to everyone.. and not forgetting, I always ready to dedicate myself to ALLAH.. insyaALLAH..

Ahh... what a nice world I have... :)

..Sahabat? Tengok dululah..

Sekali lagi menulis dengan bahasa sendiri..
Bukannya terkilan..sekadar berkongsi..
Sebelum mula, bersihkanlah hati..
Agar kata tidak menyakiti..

Ku mulakan dengan nama ALLAH yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Mengasihani..

Kesal, terkilan, marah, sedih.. Semua emosi ada.. Bercampur jadi satu.. Bersyukur, masih ada yang menyayangi walaupun terluka sana sini.. Tak mengapa.. Lumrah kehidupan.. Harus warna-warni.. Kelam kalau satu rona sahaja.. Baju pun nak berbunga-bunga.. Kan? :)

Aku sebenarnya tak suka nak menulis tentang perkara-perkara sebegini.. Sebab bunyinya macam mengata walaupun ditulis secara umum.. Tapi keadaan sekeliling membuatkan kata-kata ini tetap nak termuntah dari hati dan emosi.. Kedua-duanya tau.. Bukan tak seimbang dengan hanya menggunakan satu elemen sahaja..

Kasihan melihat orang-orang yang takut dengan bayang-bayang sendiri. Merasakan diri sangat betul sehinggakan 1000 kebaikan orang ditutup dengan hanya kesilapan-kesilapan kecil. Perempuan, lelaki, tua, muda.. semua sama.. tiada pengecualian dibuat.. Yang buat aku tertawa kecil, sendiri mengaku diri baik, sendiri buat silap, sendiri sedar bahawa itu kesilapan sendiri, sendiri melarikan diri.. Hey kawan! Kelakarlah kau ni! Sumpah aku gelak guling-guling tengok keadaan kau yang tak senang duduk itu. Bak kata orang tua-tua, panas punggung. Heh! Maaf ya. Sudah terkasar. Sebab tu aku kata aku menulis kali ni menggunakan 2 elemen. :)

Maafkan aku ya ALLAH kerana mempunyai perasaan seperti ini. Mentertawakan saudara sendiri kerana kesilapan yang dia lakukan. Tapi apakan daya, aku tak pandai menipu. Apatah lagi berpura-pura. Jadi, lebih baik ku lepaskan saja. Bimbang nanti jadi dosa hati pula..

Maafkan mereka, mereka tiada nilai

Ibu bapa lalai dari kecil dah diabai

Tanpa kasih sayang, mereka suka menyakiti

Kita kongsi warna mata tapi tidak warna hati

Ternyata, lirik ini betul berdasarkan apa yang aku lalui. Kasihan apabila orang-orang yang kurang kasih sayang ini tidak pernah mahu mengakui kesilapan sendiri. Hanya mahu orang lain memenuhi kehendak mereka. Tapi, dah nama pun kurang kasih sayang.. nak buat macammana lagi..

Jangan ahli sihir seru nama maharaja

Nanti segerombolan hantu bisu yang menjelma

Guna hak berfikir sebelum hak untuk bersuara

Kalau terpelajar sila guna hak miranda

Maaf saudari, saudari memang telah menjadi ahli sihir yang menyeru nama maharaja ini sehingga segerombolan hantu bisu telah berkata-kata.. Saudari pergi, saya sedikit pun tak kesal.. Malah sudah menjangka ini memang akan terjadi. Jangan saudari berpaling lagi kalau tidak mahu malu, ya!

Aku maafkan kamu

Tak perlu kita bertemu

Cukup kau tahu yang aku maafkan kamu

Tolong teruskan hidup

Jangan sebut namaku

Kepada sekalian sahabat, teman, kawan.. Jangan sesekali mementingkan diri sendiri.. Jadilah kawan yang baik kepada semua orang.. Berkawan bukan bermakna "anda single, kawan anda juga harus single" dan "anda berdua, tak pedulilah kalau kawan anda single". Bukan juga bermakna "anda susah, anda cari kawan anda" dan "anda senang, lantaklah kawan anda nak gembira atau menangis". Kawan adalah orang yang walaupun jarang dihubungi, namun tetap di hati.. Kawan adalah orang yang sudi berkongsi suka duka hidup dalam alam ni. Kalau anda tidak mahu merasa kehilangan, jangan jadi kawan yang 'jual ikan'.

Oh! Satu lagi pesanan. Doakanlah yang terbaik untuk kawan-kawan anda walaupun perangai kawan anda itu memang yang paling teruk yang pernah anda jumpa. Sebab kebaikan tu akan datang kat kita juga nanti. Tak perlulah menilai; "dia jahat, saya tak perlu berkawan dengan dia sebab saya baik dan berhati mulia", kerana semua itu bullshit!! Semua orang pun ada baik dan buruknya. Anda tidak terkecuali. :)

p/s: kepada bekas kawan aku yang sekarang dah melarikan diri tu, maaf..aku tak boleh tunggu kau untuk bertunang.. aku jugak tak boleh penuhi permintaan kau untuk tinggalkan tunang aku.. sebab alhamdulillah.. buruk baik dia, aku terima seadanya dan begitu juga dia.. dan dia memang serius bersama aku.. kalau tak, dia tak akan menunggu bertahun-tahun untuk kami bertunang dan insyaALLAH berkahwin.. walaupun kau kata "tak semestinya dia melamar kau selepas 3 hari kenal dan semua lancar, dia itu jodoh yang baik buat kau", tapi aku tetap percaya dengan apa yang ALLAH dah tentukan untuk aku.. ALLAH yang tentukan hidup aku tau.. bukan kau.. maaflah kalau sepanjang proses majlis pertunangan itu berlangsung aku sedikit sibuk.. tapi sesibuk mana pun aku, aku ada juga masa untuk bersama kau saat kau menangis teresak-esak disebabkan keadaan keluarga kau.. bukan mengungkit.. tapi sedarlah kalau selama ni, kau tak lah perfect sangat untuk dibanggakan.. maaf ya.. semua orang pun ada baik dan buruknya, ada senang dan susahnya, ada bahagia dan deritanya.. aku doakan kau jumpalah dengan lelaki yang boleh tunduk dengan segala arahan kau.. mudah-mudahan kau boleh jadi mem besar dalam rumah kau nanti.. :)

..Wahai saudaraku..

Wahai saudaraku..

Ada beberapa perkara yang kamu perlu tahu tentang wanita di sekelilingmu. Ambil berat tentang perkara-perkara penting ini dan kamu tidak perlu takut tentang kehilangan melainkan yang telah ALLAH tentukan..

Wahai saudaraku..

Tiada apa yang lebih diinginkan oleh seorang wanita melainkan perhatian dan kasih sayang. Wang dan hartamu tidaklah dia hiraukan jika perhatian dan kasih sayangmu tak pernah berkurangan. Dia akan sanggup berkongsi segala kesusahan jika kamu tidak pernah mengabaikan kehadirannya. Lupakah kamu bahawa di sebalik setiap kejayaanmu akan berdiri seorang wanita?

Wahai saudaraku..

Tepatilah janjimu walau sesulit manapun itu. Janganlah kamu berjanji jika semuanya tidak pasti. Akan mereka kenang segala kebaikanmu. Kemaafan pasti akan menjadi milikmu sekiranya kesilapan berlaku di sekejap waktu..

Wahai saudaraku..

Fahamilah dan dengarilah setiap luahan hatinya. Jangan biarkan dia menangis sendirian kerana ALLAH telah memberikan 1001 tanggungjawab di atas bahunya. Ketahuilah bahawa dia menangis bukan untuk simpatimu. Dia menangis hanya untuk melepaskan segala kepenatan dan bangkit kembali meneruskan perjalanan..

Wahai saudaraku..

Jika dia berpaling muka darimu kerana terluka hatinya oleh sikapmu, akuilah. Mohonlah kemaafan dan pujuklah. Kemanjaan itu akan melembutkan hati sekeras batu. Jika ada silapnya, tegurlah dengan cara yang paling berhemah agar hatinya terusik untuk berubah. Bukan dengan herdikan, kerana itu akan menghasilkan kekerasan. Maka kamu tidak akan mendapat perubahan yang kamu inginkan..

Wahai saudaraku..

Hargailah kehadirannya sementara dia masih di sisimu. Jangan nanti apabila dia berlalu pergi, barulah kamu mengakui bahawa dia yang terbaik untukmu. Masa itu sudah terlambat untuk kamu mendapatkannya kembali. Dia tidak akan sewenang-wenangnya meninggalkanmu jika dia tulus mencintaimu. Jika dia sanggup melukai hatinya sendiri dengan meninggalkanmu, itu bermakna dia amat kecewa denganmu. Selangkah mereka pergi, mereka tidak akan kembali lagi..

Wahai saudaraku..sedikit perkongsian untuk kamu fahami..

Aku wanita punya hati nurani yang tak dapat dibohongi

Pabila cinta telah membutakan mata dan membuat tuli telinga

Apakah salah jika aku menyinta?

Apakah salah jika engkau ternyata pilihan hati, belahan jiwaku ini?

Cintaku ini anugerah terindah dari Yang Maha Kuasa

Cintaku padamu tak pernah berubah meskipun kita berbeza

Apakah salah jika aku menyinta?

Apakah salah jika engkau ternyata pilihan hati, belahan jiwaku ini?

Aku wanita, ku kaum hawa yang memang rapuh hatinya

Aku wanita, ku punya cinta selayaknya manusia

Apakah salah jika aku menyinta?

Apakah salah jika engkau ternyata pilihan hati, belahan jiwaku ini?

Aku wanita yang hanya perlu kau fahami..

p/s: ilham dari blog seorang saudara yang bertajuk 20 perkara yang membuatkan wanita benci lelaki

..Changes..

I am all alone. In an empty house. It let my mind go anywhere it want. To the past, even though the past was just 5 minutes ago. Thinking, dreaming, analyzing..

These past few weeks taught me lots of things in life. Lots and lots of it. Good and bad. Love and hate. Funny and sad. Everything called life. Mine got few changes. Others might have one too. Shall we be very grateful on all the changes? Let's say it. Alhamdulillah.. :)

Personal. Since I am currently engaged, of course the plan to get married is there. More and more people keep on asking when is the date. Me? Can't answer such question because the answer is with him. But it is soon insyaALLAH. Just waiting for the rezeki. But I already have one ring for that. Yippie! ;) More preparation is coming i.e. my kursus kahwin and the HIV test and etc. Be patient for the date people. Will update with you guys once it's known. :)

Career. Alhamdulillah. After 6 months working with iMAXX Services Plus, I passed my probation period with flying colours (sounds like exam though..hehe..). Yeay! For this, lots of thanks to ibu, my beloved fiance Mohd Hafiz Ismail and all colleagues that gave me lots of supports for the past 6 months. Oh! not forgetting those who never like me (only one person do I guess) in that office. Sorry, but I don't mind at all. You have to know that you are nothing to me. Say whatever you want to say, people still know who is right and who is wrong. Thanks for the past weeks, now I know not only me who hates you, but almost all of them. Don't cry dear. Think what is your mistakes and just say sorry for that. Simple.

Friends. New are coming. Old has gone. It's like a cycle. But I don't mind. Only the real best friends will stay with you through laugh and tears, stone and sea. And I am glad I have lots of them. For those who has gone, thanks and sorry, but I don't care. Live your life. I forgive you, so don't come back to me. You are good enough to have your friends, and my life is good enough without you. For those who stay, you are appreciated much in my life. I am busy, I admit it. But I am building my career and my new life. And I never forget you. You are always in my pray, my heart, and my mind. Much love for you! :)

And this, is for you, who has gone. Far away. I'll find someone like you. :)

I heard that your settled downThat you found a girl and you're married nowI heard that your dreams came trueGuess she gave you things I didn't give to you
Old friend, why are you so shy?  Ain't like you to hold it back or hide from the light.   I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited, but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight itI'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over
Never mind, I'll find someone like youI wish nothing but the best for you tooDon't forget me, I begI remember you said "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"  Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead
You'd know how the time fliesOnly yesterday was the time of our livesWe were born and raised in a summer hazeBound by the surprise of our glory days Nothing compares, no worries or caresRegrets and mistakes, they're memories madeWho would have known how bittersweet this would taste?
Never mind, I'll find someone like youI wish nothing but the best for you tooDon't forget me, I begI remember you said "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead"  Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead...

..Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder..

I am beautiful..

No matter what they say..

Words can't bring me down..

I actually don't understand why there are lots of girls and ladies out there should say that they are not beautiful. I mean, everybody has their own beauty. As long as your heart is beautiful enough to appreciate whatever you have around you, confidence in yourself will arise without you even know it. And that, the fact, make the beauty glows out of you. Yes, darlings! It's the heart who demands the praise, not the face who demands the make-ups! :)

Eyh! But wait! You have to be intelligent enough to pair what you wear. Got what I mean? Yup, you are very right. If you wear something that doesn't suit you, make you look what some people called S.T.U.P.I.D, it is very truly wrong, okay! Remind yourself to be just nice and not over in fashion. If you do, I am afraid that people will freak out. Tsk!

Cantik luar, cantik dalam, cantik dengar sini..

Kalau cantik, senyum cantik, mesti cantik lagi..

Senyum sikit, nak tengok ada tak lesung pipit..

Kalau tak ada pun aku masih mahu cubit..

So, my sayangs, one thing for sure, a lady will look so beautiful if your attitude and your heart is beautiful. Smile. And always smile. It is not just because of sedekah but it's also for your own beauty too. 2 in 1, who does not want it, right? Let us be beautiful because of ALLAH, who will always appreciate the beauty in you, so that your eyes may glow with the beauty you have inside. I am sure most of the people will be impressed, even though the beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.. :)

..Emotions..

I know there is something wrong, but I don't know what is it..

I miss someone, but I don't know who is that someone..

I am sad, but I don't know why..

Familiar with this kind of emotions? Yup.. I am having it..now..it's been few days though..Argghh! Positive mood, please come to me..I beg you..please.. I hate this feeling. Hate this so much! Urgh! *cry*

..November 11, 2011..

It was 2 years back. Waking up a bit late after being so tired that night, she got a call. "I'm going back. Can we meet for a moment?". Oh my God! It was like having thunder in her heart. No one can ever see it. Only those who know will realize. Luckily she was all alone. "OK. When and where?", she replied short. "I'll wait for you downstairs". "OK".

There they were, sitting like nothing happened. Trying so hard to be so normal. It was hard, since the girl don't know how to lie. "What time is your flight?", she asked him. "Afternoon. Will make a move shortly. Just wanna meet you before I leave.", he answered. "About your question last night, all I can say is we are just friends. There's nothing between us. I love you like I love all my friends out there. Nothing special. Hope you can understand. Whatever it is, you are still my best friend, and I am ready for that", he said.

She stunned. Silence. Slowly the tears were coming. Coming and coming again. She wiped the tears. All the words were lost. Suddenly she felt like she can't stay too long with him or she'll broke down. "OK. I think I better make a move. I got something to do upstairs. Have a safe journey. Take care.", she suddenly said. He was shocked, and hoped that the girl will stay a bit longer, but she decided to just go. She packed her lappy and go.

Inside her room, she cried so hard. The tears didn't stop. She lost. Didn't know what to do, how it could be that way. She didn't know what she felt. Anger, sad, shocked. Everything was mixing inside her heart. She's crying and crying with the hopes that all the pain could go away from her..

Slowly she's accepting the reality. Even though until now she can still remember that moment, but she take it as a better way shown by ALLAH to have a better love. Alhamdulillah, she's happy. And she always pray for the guy's happiness. The guy he used to love before....

..Salam Aidiladha..

Pengorbanan yang diterima, bersyukurlah..

Pengorbanan yang diberi dan dilupai, redhailah..

Pengorbanan yang dihulur dan dihargai, alhamdulillah..

Semoga keberkatan dari-Nya sentiasa bersama kita, insyaALLAH..

Salam Aidiladha.. :)

..Dear my yayang..

Dear my yayang,

Alhamdulillah. November datang lagi. Setahun sudah. And we are engaged. I am so grateful to have you in my life. Apapun yang kita lalui, apapun orang kata, still our love has grown stronger and stronger. Banyak dugaan yang kita dah lalui. Banyak bisikan luar yang cuba pisahkan kita, but our love has also inspired certain people around us to have a better relationship. Thank you ALLAH..

Thank you yayang, for all the laughter, tears, arguments, thoughts, love, everything. Thank you for all sacrifices that you've made for me along this 1 year we be together. Thank you for convincing me to give the very best answer for your magic question after 3 days we met. I will never forget that moment yang. Never. Walaupun ada yang mengatakan I salah buat pilihan, tapi I tetap yakin dengan you. And I always know, you are the best for me. And I can't wait for that day where we will be as one..much love!xoxo!Mwah!

p/s: this entry is dedicated to my lovely one and only fiancee, Mohd Hafiz Ismail as this month is our first anniversary together.. :)