..Selamat ulang tahun, sayang..

Yang tulus, ikhlas, ingin sekali-sekala dirinya dibalas..

Walau hanya dengan dakapan di angin lalu..

Yang selalu memberi ingin sekali-sekala jadi penerima..

Cukup dengan salam dan manis doa..

Aku ingin kau merasakan hebatnya cinta..

Dan leburkan saja serpihan calar derita..

Aku hanya inginkan engkau setia..

Kerana setia yang mencipta bahagiamu..

Selamat ulang tahun, sayang..

Kini kau bersayap pergilah terbang..

Rentaslah langit cita-citamu..

Harap nanti kita kan bertemu..

Selamat ulang tahun, sayang..

Janganlah engkau tak terbang pulang..

Ku nanti penuh kerinduan..

Selamat tinggal, selamat jalan..

..Kisah cinta kami..

Alhamdulillah..

Selamat bergelar puan isteri kepada encik suami tercinta. Seminggu, banyak perubahan yang dapat dirasakan.Alhamdulillah, hidup lebih teratur dan berharap akan menjadi lebih teratur.

Tak pernah menyangka, perkenalan yang sangat singkat membawa kami ke jinjang pelamin. Kalau diingatkan, dia adalah orang yang paling dirasakan annoying pada masa itu. Annoying, and I mean it. Haha! But, I do seriously don't know how can I agree to go out with him few months after that. Amazingly, I also said yes to marry him! That is, I think, called the power of love.

Ya, saya memang pernah kecewa. Even by the time I met him for the first time, I was in the middle to recover my heart from that sadness. All the time I was praying, "Ya ALLAH, tutuplah pintu hatiku daripada menerima sesiapapun, dan bukalah hanya apabila KAU katakan bahawa dialah jodohku". Setelah ini, saya terfikir, mungkin inilah kuasa doa. Saya dah pun temui jawapan kepada doa saya. Terima kasih, ALLAH. Terima kasih atas kurniaan yang tidak terhingga ini. Alhamdulillah, kini saya mampu tersenyum.. :)

Kepada cinta hati saya, one and only husband, dearest Mohd Hafiz Ismail,
Terima kasih untuk cinta ini. Terima kasih kerana menerima diri I seadanya. Terima kasih untuk semua doa dan nasihat u sepanjang masa ini. Semoga kita sentiasa bersatu hati melalui segalanya bersama. Terima kasih, cintaku. Terima kasih, imamku. Terima kasih, sahabatku. Terima kasih, penghujung cintaku. Terima kasih, suamiku. :)

Berakhir sudah pencarian cintaku

Jiwa ini tak lagi sepi

Hati ini telah ada yang miliki

Tiba diriku dipenghujung mencari cinta

Diri ini tak lagi sepi

Kini, aku tak sendiri

Aku akan menikahimu

Aku akan menjagamu

Ku kan selalu disisimu seumur hidupmu

Aku akan menyayangimu

Ku kan setia kepadamu

Ku kan selalu disisimu seumur hidupmu..

..Terukir Di Bintang..

Jika engkau minta intan permata, tak mungkin ku mampu..

Tapi sayang, kan ku capai bintang dari langit untukmu..

Jika engkau minta satu dunia, akan aku cuba..

Ku hanya mampu jadi milikmu, pastikan kau bahagia..

Hati ini bukan milikku lagi..

Seribu tahun pun akan ku nantikan kamu..

Sayangku, jangan kau persoalkan siapa di hatiku..

Terukir di bintang, tak mungkin hilang cintaku padamu..

Dear my future husband, Mohd Hafiz bin Ismail..

This post is coming exactly deep from my heart. While listening to this song, I am actually imagining how our wedding will be, and how my life will change with you. It is a big decision when I said 'Yes' to marry you. It is actually hard to make. I keep on wondering whether you are really serious or not..

There are another 29 days left before I become your wife. I do, feel very grateful to have your love with me. I know, you can be such a great husband for me and great father to our children. I always know, you can take a good care of me and our family. I always believe, you will work hard for us. I am always here, to support you, and to love you deeply..

Our relationship has grown in 1 year, 2 months, and 3 days. And it will grow from time to time. We have gone through lots of things within this period of time. I am glad to know that our hands are still tightly held to walk along this journey. And I always pray that our hands will still be held tightly forever..

I admit I was afraid to fall in love when I met you. I have failed. I built a wall to guard my heart. I close the door and locked it. But it seems like you got the strongest power to open it back. Seeing your eyes made me believe that you are the answer for my prayer. Alhamdulillah, it seems like you really are..

Yayang, I always want you to know that I thank ALLAH everyday for sending you to save my heart..much love to you, my future husband.. :)

Sayangku, jangan kau persoalkan siapa di hatiku..

Terukir di bintang, tak mungkin hilang cintaku padamu..

..Wedding ceremony..

Until now, I am still thinking, whether to write it in english or bahasa.. =_='

Special sikit lah. Kali ni nak tulis dalam bahasa ibunda yang indah. Majlis perkahwinan. Ada siapa-siapa yang tak sabar nak kahwin dah? Wah! Silalah berfikir 400 kali sebelum membuat keputusan ye.. Bukan apa, nak kahwin itu bukan sesuatu yang mudah.. Sesekali kena bertanya pada diri sendiri, mampukah anda menjaga rumahtangga anda supaya sentiasa harmoni dan kekal sepanjang masa? Haa.. Kan dah tergamam..

Tapi tak apa.. Keinginan untuk mendirikan rumahtangga itu seharusnya ada dalam diri setiap orang kan.. Kalau tak, macammana nak jadi umat Rasulullah.. Tak gitu? Bagi mereka-mereka yang bakal-bakal mendirikan rumahtangga, ada beberapa tips yang ingin saya kongsikan di sini.. Jom tengok!

Wedding checklist

1. Barang hantaran - buat keputusan awal-awal dan belilah sikit-sikit. Kalau tak nanti mesti rasa terbeban.
2. Borang kebenaran berkahwin - sila pergi ke jabatan agama negeri masing-masing untuk tahu dokumen yang mereka perlukan. Jangan nanti kena pergi 2 3 kali ke sana untuk dapatkan kebenaran berkahwin.
3. Imam jurunikah - kena book awal-awal tau. Mereka ini sibuk mengalahkan PM. Seriously!
4. Baju nikah - sila tempah 2 hingga 3 bulan sebelum majlis. Kalau ada yang tak kena nanti, taklah kelam kabut si tukang jahit itu. Lagipun kalau tempah sebulan sebelum nikah, biasanya kena reject oleh si tukang jahit.
5. Konsep majlis - fikir dan bincang siap-siap. Baru senang nak fikir idea dan gambaran majlis dan bajetnya. Hehe..
6. Kad kahwin - sila dapatkan pakej yang termurah. Survey lah awal-awal supaya tak menyesal dan kelam-kabut.
7. Katering - biasanya akan ada yang provide sekali dengan khemah dan sebagainya. Ada jugak yang ada pakej sekali dengan dewan bagai. Pilihlah yang terbaik dan harga yang bersesuaian. Yang ni pun kalau boleh tempahlah awal.
8. Pelamin, baju sanding, make-up - ni untuk mereka yang nak bersanding. Biasanya mereka akan tanya bajet kita, Maksudnya lagi mahal bajet, lagi meriahlah baju dan pelamin kita tu nanti.
9. Door gift- untuk budak-budak, mudahnya bagi gula-gula lah. Untuk orang dewasa, terpulang pada taste dan bajet sendiri.
10. PA System dan DJ - biasanya ada dalam internet. Google lah. Haha! Kalau ada kawan-kawan yang sediakan pakej ni, lagi bagus. Lagi tak perlu pening kepala.
11. Senarai jemputan - sila buat! Supaya tiada masalah kehabisan kad, kehabisan makanan, dan heart feeling. =P
12. Bilik tidur pengantin - silalah hias untuk kegunaan masa majlis (tangkap gambar) dan hari-hari seterusnya. Hek!
13. Photographer / videographer - carilah pakej yang paling berbaloi dengan testimoni yang paling cantik. Jangan salah pilih. Nanti malu nak tunjuk kat orang gambar kahwin. Hehe..
14. Kompang - biasanya kat kampung ada persatuan. Bagi yang duduk bandar, cari budak-budak universiti pun senang. Tak pun, pakai CD je.. =P
15. Kek Kahwin - kadang-kadang ada pakej katering yang sediakan sekali. Kadang-kadang takde. So, kene bersiap-sedia okay..

Haa.. tulah antara persediaan yang perlu dibuat. Sebenarnya, buat entri ni untuk mengingatkan diri sendiri jugak. Mana tahu ada yang terkurang. Naya je majlis tak jadi nanti.. Huhu.. Tunggu next tips di entri seterusnya ya! :)

..Love story of a kid..

I sometimes do love to fill my free time with reading kid's love story.. They are just 22 years old, 21, and might be younger.. For now, I keep saying that learn to live your life first before you wanna grab someone else into it. But it's a perfect experiences though. Life experiences. To be loved and to be hurt and then to be loved by someone who really loves you..

I once fell in love when I was young. Okay, it might be a lie since it might not be just once. But yeah, I've felt that kind of feeling. Feeling of always wanna be together, always wanna hear from each other, always wanna tell everything to each other, all the jealousy inside, arguments.. Lots of it and most of everything.. Then we felt that the relationship cannot last long, made decisions to end up the relationship and live the world alone again.. Then someone find us being single and accept us as who we are and finally, boom! The relationship ends with a new family formed..

It's not wrong to have that feeling. I always knew that there's always a reason behind everything. When I read those kid's love story, I always smile to myself and said "when the time is right, you will find someone right for you".. :)

p/s: to my lovely friend, I can guess that something is wrong with your relationship with the one you loved before and now you are trying to build a new relationship with someone new. Be patient, darling. Sometimes we never realized that the person who always been made for you is just right in front of your eyes. Believe what your heart says, because sometimes it's totally right. May ALLAH always be with you and gives you strength to get you through everything. Remember, I always be here if you need a shoulder to cry on. Miss you, babe.. ;)

..November 11, 2011..

It was 2 years back. Waking up a bit late after being so tired that night, she got a call. "I'm going back. Can we meet for a moment?". Oh my God! It was like having thunder in her heart. No one can ever see it. Only those who know will realize. Luckily she was all alone. "OK. When and where?", she replied short. "I'll wait for you downstairs". "OK".

There they were, sitting like nothing happened. Trying so hard to be so normal. It was hard, since the girl don't know how to lie. "What time is your flight?", she asked him. "Afternoon. Will make a move shortly. Just wanna meet you before I leave.", he answered. "About your question last night, all I can say is we are just friends. There's nothing between us. I love you like I love all my friends out there. Nothing special. Hope you can understand. Whatever it is, you are still my best friend, and I am ready for that", he said.

She stunned. Silence. Slowly the tears were coming. Coming and coming again. She wiped the tears. All the words were lost. Suddenly she felt like she can't stay too long with him or she'll broke down. "OK. I think I better make a move. I got something to do upstairs. Have a safe journey. Take care.", she suddenly said. He was shocked, and hoped that the girl will stay a bit longer, but she decided to just go. She packed her lappy and go.

Inside her room, she cried so hard. The tears didn't stop. She lost. Didn't know what to do, how it could be that way. She didn't know what she felt. Anger, sad, shocked. Everything was mixing inside her heart. She's crying and crying with the hopes that all the pain could go away from her..

Slowly she's accepting the reality. Even though until now she can still remember that moment, but she take it as a better way shown by ALLAH to have a better love. Alhamdulillah, she's happy. And she always pray for the guy's happiness. The guy he used to love before....

..Dear my yayang..

Dear my yayang,

Alhamdulillah. November datang lagi. Setahun sudah. And we are engaged. I am so grateful to have you in my life. Apapun yang kita lalui, apapun orang kata, still our love has grown stronger and stronger. Banyak dugaan yang kita dah lalui. Banyak bisikan luar yang cuba pisahkan kita, but our love has also inspired certain people around us to have a better relationship. Thank you ALLAH..

Thank you yayang, for all the laughter, tears, arguments, thoughts, love, everything. Thank you for all sacrifices that you've made for me along this 1 year we be together. Thank you for convincing me to give the very best answer for your magic question after 3 days we met. I will never forget that moment yang. Never. Walaupun ada yang mengatakan I salah buat pilihan, tapi I tetap yakin dengan you. And I always know, you are the best for me. And I can't wait for that day where we will be as one..much love!xoxo!Mwah!

p/s: this entry is dedicated to my lovely one and only fiancee, Mohd Hafiz Ismail as this month is our first anniversary together.. :)

..It's my life, though..

Being a girl named Nur Suhailah binti Salahuddin is totally not simple. You will experience lots of hard times rather than easy one. And when i say it's not simple, i meant it. It's like you can have a moment of happiness in 5 minutes, then in another 5 minutes time, you will feel the pain. Again and again. You will lose faith even in yourself. You will love people who don't really love you and lose people you love. You will..

I still remember what my mom had teach me to go through the hardships of life. She always say "be patient and pray. ALLAH will give you the strength". Oh, how I miss her! Her laugh, her smile, her shoulder to cry on..

Whatever it is, don't ever show your tears. People never like it. All you will get is "crying is not a solution. So, stop crying" words. They just don't understand that we are crying just to release all the weaknesses we have and gain the strength again. They will never want to understand. But ALLAH do. I always believe that HE will always do..

Thank you ALLAH for giving me my strength. I know I have to face them. What to do? It's my life, though..

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..It's just me being a new me..

Assalamualaikum..

Finally, my new blog is here and this is my first entry of all.. After going through another stage of life, I am gonna share everything I have in my new matured mind. Yup, might be a bit late since it has been a month now. But my busy career and love life have shorten my time to realize what I want..

Being a fiancee to a guy is not as easy as what you think. Especially those who never had one and never want to understand. Lots of things have to be sacrificed. Your free time, your heart, your life, your hu-ha times with your friends, etc.etc. Lots of it. But with the love you had, you actually never realize that you are spreading the love towards everyone around you (only for those who don't  have the ice inside their soul lah).. You will be very happy to see everyone being so happy for you and praying for your best. Suddenly you will realize that you never lose anything but you are gaining more..

To those who are still in my life, thank you so much. Only ALLAH can pay for everything you've done. To those who already gone, may you have the best in your life. Thanks a lot for all the experiences, values, love, memories, everything. To you Mr. fiancee, this love is totally for you. I had take one step towards you. InsyaALLAH, I will take another one more step and I'm all yours. Much love! :)